Confessions of a lobster

I am so sunburned I can barely move.

My mother is going to kill me if she finds out, but I am as red as a lobster.

Yesterday, my spider-killing-friend and I went out to Center Lake and laid out for a couple hours. I slathered on some sunscreen, but I wasn’t too liberal with it because I felt like a pale blob of flesh and wanted to get tan without having to stay out there for hours. I had other stuff to do – like work.

When we did eventually leave the beach, we both felt as though we hadn’t gotten much sun and were disappointed. I went home, suited back up for work, and went about my business.

But about an hour later, I realized my pants were rubbing my waist raw. This was odd because they weren’t that tight, so I went into a bathroom to check out the situation.

That’s when I realized I was completely and utterly burnt. My waist, thighs, and for some reason, my eyelids got the worst of it. My friend’s back is completely seared and for the rest of that evening, everyone made jokes about slapping our sunburns.

I think if anyone had actually followed through and done it, we both would have just died on the spot.

Today, it’s not as bad as it was yesterday.

Who am I kidding, it’s just as bad. I don’t know why, but my eyelids are burnt and my waist is still chafing against my jeans. Every time I rolled over last night it re-occurred to me, “Oh yeah, you’re sunburnt, you idiot.”

I’ll deal with it. I’m hoping with all the lotion I’ve been applying that it will be better by tonight.

Fingers crossed.


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